I feel like I’ve only exercised maybe even less than one quarter of my full potential so far. It’s incredible how much one little human body can harbor within. I have every intention of fully blooming within these coming times in a way I never have before… Sometimes many of us make the mistake of holding back our true energy because we are waiting for an opportunity or proper platform to come along for us to fully erupt as a supervolcano, but there simply isn’t any time to wait for anyone, or anything.
Freedom over fortune and fame!
~Booker T. Washington
To me, this isn’t a matter of expression or art and it never was. I’m afraid the situation is far graver than that. Our very freedom is what is really at stake here. You may not know this, but I’ve come from a struggle so tumultuous that it has taken very long to muster up the courage to speak about it openly. Now as a young man reflecting on my past I can truly say things have never been clearer.
Last year I saw a man who had been trampled by a train on my way home one night after a cipher at Union Square Park. This was definitely not the first time I had seen death however, I had never seen anything quite as gruesome outside of movies. As the young man (who seemed to be around my age) laid severed in half before me, many questions began to surface.
I went home that night unable to sleep. I remember a nightmare in which his eyes focused on me as I walked by his corpse. Inquisitively the next day I looked online for any mention of his death. Weeks went by and the only thing I found was a small blurb explaining that he allegedly wasn’t carrying any identification. That was all I ever found.
I contemplated how someone could just vanish from the world without a trace. Who was he? Where did he come from? Where was he going? What was his name? I was a passenger on a train that killed a man. One of the things that bothered me the most was the shameless and disconcerting behavior people displayed. Some complained about the delay in service even while knowing about the tragedy. Others pulled out their phones and cameras and took photos and filmed before authorities arrived.
I later asked a friend of mine who works with the MTA about what happened. He hadn’t heard about the incident but told me that type of thing happens often and is swept under the rug. He explained that he has often heard stories and has even been witness to the great lengths the MTA is willing to go to cover up an accident of this nature. Some of the information I was told is shattering but this isn’t about the MTA.
What are we to greater civilization other than potential-energy? We hear about oil, coal, gas and other resources of energy all the time without acknowledging the greatest source is our own. Corporation knows that, and so does government. This isn’t a movie. If one of us dies we are easily replaced. If one of us decides to quit nobody cares, they’ll just find another slave. I don’t consider it cynical or pessimistic to state that for the sake of survival as a species, we are not valued as individuals with souls but instead only as energy. That makes us disposable. The term “modern day slavery” simply doesn’t tap into our emotions the way it should, perhaps because it isn’t potent enough to bring our rage out. As far as I’m concerned almost nothing will because we are distracted by what has been systematically placed around us. At this point we can watch our own get shot by police over 50 times and do nothing.
The point is energy. The single most important thing industry cares about is your energy – like the battery in the matrix. Our dreams don’t matter, and neither do our goals as long as we’re employees for their corporations. This is why words like art and expression don’t hold the same weight to me anymore. Those of you out there who strive to become someone successful and prove the doubters wrong aren’t dreamers but warriors instead. You may not know it, but subconsciously you’re fighting for the right to do as you wish. Our freedom is in jeopardy as we stand before the grotesque beast that is industry. I’ve said many times before that there is a clear distinction between wasting and spending. For example: one can waste money gambling, or one can spend money investing.
Economy is rendered useless without our physical energy; the very essence that mobilizes us. It has become clear to me that my energy is my soul. For as long as I can remember I’ve witnessed people labor for the promise of retirement and so many of these people died before that promise was ever realized. The living remained jaded and bitter, completely drained of their energy; of their souls.
I’m not here to tell you what you already know. I’m here to tell you that the choices have never been clearer than they are to me now. Either I waste my energy working as a slave, or I spend my energy fighting for my freedom. Regardless either path will leave me withered and tired but only one is worth risking it all for. I have everything to lose.
The fame achieved through success means nothing to me, but if success means freedom then I will die trying to become successful. I refuse to compromise or conform to the lifestyle of a mule. I refuse to die a nobody and not even receive a respectful farewell. Perhaps individuality is illusion but if it makes me happy then what else matters? I struggled and suffered too long and too hard to turn back now. I declare myself triumphant, for I have already won by surviving this long.
Rest in peace… fellow somebody…
~ FinaL OutlaW
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